Proverbs 31–Not a reference to the perfect wife?

By Dr. Judith R. Coats

Let’s begin with a brief reminder that the Bible is a book of literature: history, poetry, letters, prophecies, narratives (stories), and genealogies.  Proverbs is a poetic book, so the contents will be presented with metaphors, similes, analogies, contrasts, symbols, and many other word pictures.  And by the way, Proverbs is full of mini-sermons, not promises. From a bird’s eye view, the book of Proverbs could be likened to a court case: Lady Wisdom v. Lady Folly. In the first 9 chapters, Lady Wisdom presents her case while Lady Folly presents her case; and the two go back and forth.  “Wisdom shouts in the streets. She cries out in the public square. She calls to the crowds along the main street, to those gathered in front of the city gate: ‘How long, you simpletons, will you insist on being simpleminded? How long will you mockers relish your mocking? How long will you fools hate knowledge? Come and listen to my counsel. I’ll share my heart with you and make you wise'” (Proverbs 1:20-23 NLT).  Whereas Lady Folly presents her case:  “The woman named Folly is brash. She is ignorant and doesn’t know it. She sits in her doorway on the heights overlooking the city. She calls out to men going by who are minding their own business. ‘Come in with me,’ she urges the simple. To those who lack good judgment, she says, ‘Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!’ But little do they know that the dead are there. Her guests are in the depths of the grave” (Proverbs 9:13-18 NLT).

Lady Folly does not present a pretty picture at all.  In fact, Lady Folly has “been the ruin of many” (Proverbs 7:26 NLT).  I would urge you in a re-reading of Proverbs that you reframe chapters 1-9 as choices between Lady Wisdom and Lady Folly.  Why is that significant? Because all of us have choices of wisdom or folly.  The strange woman of which Proverbs speaks (or immoral woman or promiscuous woman) is the metaphorical Lady Folly.  Women and some men tend to think that chapters 5 and 7 in particular do not apply to them because they avoid being ensnared by a prostitute; however, we are all open to choices of folly (foolishness), which is in truth what the author is suggesting. The scriptures will use objects and ideas and persons that people can understand to get the main point.  When Jesus says, “I am the door,” he is not speaking of a literal door.  He uses the metaphor so that people can understand that he opens the way to eternal life.  When the poet uses Lady Wisdom, she embodies all the choices of wisdom that are presented throughout the book of Proverbs.  When the poet uses Lady Folly, she embodies all the choices of folly that lead to sadness, loss, unhappiness, and death (of joy, relationships, or literal death). In fact, Lady Wisdom makes things clear: “Therefore, they [those who choose folly] must eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes. For simpletons turn away from me—to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency” (Proverbs 1:31 and 32 NLT).

Chapter 10 begins a series of testimony as to what wisdom would look like in life on a practical basis and what folly would look like.  Antithetical parallelism is a device of the poet in chapter 10 and following. Here is an example: “The wise are glad to be instructed, but babbling fools fall flat on their faces” (Proverbs 10:8 NLT). For several chapters, the conjunction but is used frequently to contrast wisdom and folly.  The poet also uses the term better to demonstrate the wiser choice: “Better to be poor and honest than to be dishonest and a fool” (Proverbs 19:1 NLT). Additionally, the poet uses mini-sermons for the listener like the following: “Don’t say, ‘I will get even for this wrong.’ Wait for the Lord to handle the matter” (Proverbs 20:22 NLT).  Intermingled among the contrasts is the use of similes (a comparison using like or as) as well: “An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship” (Proverbs 24:26 NLT). After chapters 10-29 basically present in a variety of ways practical wisdom for this life, the closing arguments begin.

Agur, in chapter 30 muses that he has not fully mastered earthly wisdom.  He encourages us to look to the eagle, the ship on the sea, the ants, the locusts, and the lizards in king’s palaces.  Once again, more lovely poetry on display.  Finally, we arrive at chapter 31.  In keeping with the poetry of Proverbs, it makes no sense whatsoever to find at this point the manual for the perfect wife.  The poet uses the image of the wife to mirror Lady Wisdom’s closing argument, so to speak.  The book ends are an opening where Lady Wisdom explains why Proverbs was written; she closes with a beautiful picture of a life of wisdom in relationships, in commerce, in words, in marriage, in the home, with employees, in choices to strengthen our bodies, and to value the lasting gem of wisdom.  The summation is complete in its compiling of chapters 10-29 into a series of wisdom choices. Proverbs 31 is for all of us.  A friend of mine called me on Mother’s Day, and she said this to me: “Well, we just got beat up by our pastor. He preached at us from Proverbs 31. I feel like a complete failure.”  Let me give everyone hope:  I firmly believe that we need to take a fresh look at Proverbs 31–the metaphorical personification of Lady Wisdom, a lesson for men and women, not the lecture on a perfect wife.  And remember, the poet simply uses the husband and wife relationship as an intimate metaphor for the guarded walk that we must have through this life as we make choices, hopefully, of wisdom and not of folly.